Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom."    Hannah Arendt

Detox Step #3

Have you been paying attention to the words that others say… how about the words you say?  Has that awareness caused you to reflect on the thoughts that come out of your mouth, and the reality you create?  I also hope you have been spending time pondering about the power of your mind and your ability to choose your thoughts and actions.  It’s not what happens in your life, remember, but how you will react to it. 

(As this week’s blog and video will take more time than usual, you may want to wait until you have at least 35 minutes you can set aside to focus on this important concept).

It's time to start doing some gardening in our brain.  I hope you have been reading Dr. Leaf’s book and are learning about the scientific and physiological principles behind the brain’s make up and how it works. 

Watch this video clip of Caroline Leaf from an interview by Joyce Meyer.  The picture isn’t great and it’s a bit long (23 minutes….be patient and load it up in its entirety before beginning)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV6dFmGyWb8&feature=related

Caroline Leaf refers to our thoughts and memories as trees, and she differentiates between the positive, life-giving thoughts, and the negative, death-producing ones. She shows us a visual of a dead, ugly, branch and also one of a full, green, lush tree.  Isn’t it interesting that you can actually see those ‘trees’ in a brain scan? Think for a minute about what your brain might look like if someone peered inside of it.  Do you see a lush growing forest, full of shiny healthy leaves, or does it look overcrowded with diseased, dying branches, squirting poisonous, putrid acid throughout? 

What if we could create a microscope that allowed us to take an ‘up close and personal look’ of what each of these ugly trees represented in our lives.  My guess would be that many of those nasty looking thorns and branches would represent the unforgiveness and anger we continue to hold within our minds.  Since we’re working on pruning our brains, let’s learn more about how we can begin to rid ourselves of these nasty, negative, toxic thoughts and memories.

I wrote a song some time ago that begins with these words:” I once was a prisoner, locked up in chains, tied to the past….”. That’s what unforgiveness does to us doesn’t it.  It keeps us tied to our past.  It’s behaves like a chain that we carry around our neck, some of us carry many chains and some of them weigh much more than others… these chains of unforgiveness hold us captive to their toxic ties of negative thinking.

 

We often hold on to 'unforgiveness', don’t we, because we believe that the person is not deserving of our forgiveness; perhaps they haven’t said they were sorry, or we’re not convinced that they meant it.  Or perhaps we were just too wounded and they simply don’t deserve it… an apology just isn’t enough. We believe if we forgive them, then we’re saying that what they did was alright, that our feelings and pain are no longer valid.  And if we forgive them it might ease their pain, and the last thing we want them to feel is free from pain and off the hook.  Am I right?

But let’s try and understand more about forgiveness.  It isn’t about letting the other person off the hook, but rather, taking ourselves off the hook.  It’s taking our burden (our chain) and lifting it off, and then giving it to the Lord and letting him take care of the vengeance and consequences.  As Dr. Leaf says in the video… we can take the injury and wrong doing to God and let him sort it out.   In other words, 'Let go and let God'.

As always the first step in the journey requires our awareness.  Think about a person you have not forgiven, someone you are still angry with. Perhaps it's that art teacher that made you stand in the corner in 5th grade, or that person you were madly in love with in the 7th grade that broke up with you...go way back to dig up that anger and hurt you continue to harbour...start small and work your way up to the heavy chains.  I challenge you to replay the incident/s that caused this emotion.  Observe how your entire body reacts to the memory.  Ask yourself these question, "How does hanging on to this pain serve me? Why do I continue to be imprisoned with these cuffs.  Yet, I know deep down inside that the truth is that I have free will, and with the Lord's help, the ability to choose forgiveness.  Jesus' words remind us, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Pull up this website and read these about the steps Dr. Leaf encourages us to take to prune away the toxic branches of unforgiveness.

http://drleaf.com/thought_life.php

Homework:

Read Chapter #6:  Detox step – Think Forgiveness

Awareness:  Observe others as they talk about how they have been wronged.  Listen to their anger.  Watch their expression.  Can you visualize the toxic poison spewing from their thorns?

Now think about yourself. What are you still angry or hurt about.  Write a list of those wrongs that have been done to you by others.  How do you deal with it?  Do you share it with others, thus increasing the branches on that toxic memory? Do you stuff it deep inside, having it later erupt from the soil like a blob from that old horror movie? 

Write about why you choose to hang on to this anger.  What do you think will happen if you forgive?  Write it out. Reflect on your thoughts.

Do you know the truth.... that you have a choice to forgive?  When will you begin the process and be set free?

Put your money in the pamering pot.

Please share some of your 'aha' moments or observations on the blog or  email me at smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com