Getting Rid of Guilt

“Guilt is the source of sorrow, tis the fiend, Th’ avenging fiend,

that follows us behind, with whips and stings”  Nicholas Rowe

Detox Step #4

Last week we worked on pruning our mind and learned how to cut back the spindly poisonous thorns of unforgiveness.  Were you able to begin the process of letting go of your anger and bitterness? 

This week we are going to examine the emotion of 'guilt' and continue clearing away those negative emotions that clutter our minds and lead to toxic thoughts and behaviors.  Let’s first divide ‘guilt’ up into two categories:  I’ll refer to them as ‘world’ guilt and ‘God’ Guilt. Examples of ‘world’ guilt are:  “I feel guilty because I didn’t go to the gym today.  I feel guilty because I ate a chocolate fudge ice cream sundae.  I feel guilty because I laid around all day and did nothing constructive.”  These examples of guilt have been concocted by the world and do you see how we have fallen victim to the world’s unreasonable expectations of ourselves?  Identify the ‘world’ guilt you are feeling and recognize the unhealthy burdens we place on ourselves and choose to toss that worldly guilt out.  (At the very minimum begin the process by changing the words you use to describe it. Example: “ I didn’t make it to the gym today, but I’ll go tomorrow.”)

‘God’ guilt is one we’ll want to spend much more time dealing with.  Examples of this might be: “I feel guilty because I haven’t been reading the Bible, I feel guilty because I was disrespectful to my husband this week, I feel guilty because of the way I treated my mother when I was younger.”

I’ve been involved in a Bible study concerning the topic of guilt for over 3 months so I’ve been thinking lots about it.  When I began the study I thought that guilt was actually something God wanted us to feel.  After all, we are all guilty of sin…right? And wouldn’t God like for us to feel that burden of guilt?  What I came to believe however, is that God uses that feeling of regret as a mirror to show us our sin and urge us to repent, not so we can feel this long-term weighty burden over it.  He instead wants us to be aware of it, confess it and then take action to stop/start doing it.  Like the woman at the well (the one with all the husbands), and the woman that the Pharisees brought to Jesus as they were getting ready to stone her because of the adultery she was accused of committing.  Jesus didn’t say to the ladies, "Go home and get in your room and stay there and think about how bad you’ve been and what a worthless human being you are. And for your punishment, I now put the chain of guilt around you and you should carry it for the rest of your life." No ,Jesus didn't say anything like that, instead he said “Go…and don’t do it anymore.”  Jesus reminds us there is now no condemnation under God.  This concept took me a while to come to terms with, so I suggest you do your own prayerful thinking on this as well.

I also divide the ‘God guilt’ into two categories: present guilt and past guilt.  We need to deal with them differently.  With the present sins we can confess them, be sorry for them and then stop doing them (and perhaps go to the person we have sinned against and apologize to them).  But with past sins that we can’t change or rectify, we need to go to the cross with them.  Jesus died for all of our sins.  How is it that we think we are so special that our sins haven’t quite been covered by His blood that he shed on the cross? When we continue to carry the guilt of past sins, we act as though, even though He was beaten, scourged, and nailed to the tree, Jesus' death somehow wasn’t enough penance for my sin, so I must continue to feel guilt?  If that’s how we feel, then it’s time to make a return trip to Calvary…….. and lay each of our past sins down at our Lord’s feet, one at a time.   

I think that with each feeling of guilt we carry, there is also an individual chain around our neck that represents that guilt, much like our chains of unforgiveness.  And like those chains, some weigh more than others, but all of them lead to toxic thinking.   If we want to detox our brain we need to seek God’s help in order to lift each of these chains off of us.  Visualize going to the cross, confessing your guilt and seeing yourself lift the chain and leave it at Jesus’ feet. 

No doubt some of us will return later and pick the chain back up, but realize when you do that, you are doubting the Lord’s promise, His grace and His mercy.  Are we not familiar with that ‘ avenging fiend’,  from our quote Nicholas Rowe speaks of, that follows us behind, with whips and stings that continue to punish us for our past sins? God's word tells us “that though our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts” ....and greater than the avenging fiend.

The meditation and reflection over guilt, that gave me the greatest ‘aha’ moment, is when I realized that feeling guilty is actually selfish on our part.  We use the idea of feeling guilty to make us feel better about ourselves.  So if we can say, “I’m feeling guilty about not calling my friend,” then I somehow feel like a better friend for it.  If I say, “I’m guilty about not cooking healthier meals”, then I oddly feel like I’m a better wife or mother because I feel guilty.  But as my sister-in-law recently reminded me; A guilty mom is not a better mom.  I have also come to realize that a quality Christian is not a better Christian either. 

Life is not all about me is it?  I need to realize that I am being selfish when I hang onto the ‘guilt thing’.    

And finally, we must take what we learned about the power of our words and apply it to this week’s lesson.  I have set a personal goal for myself.  I have decided that I will no longer say these words, “I feel guilty”.  Remember ....“the words we say create our reality”. If I have done something wrong, sinful, hurtful…then I need to confess it, fix it and don’t do it anymore.  If it’s guilt from my past, that cannot be rectified, I need to go to the cross, and take off that chain and once and for all, leave it at my Lord’s feet.

If we want our brains to be filled with lush leaves and healthy branches, we need to prune the dead, ugly, branches and get rid of guilt. 

Homework:

Read Chapter #4 of  Who Switched off my Brain?

Pamper funds:  Do you continue to put in your money each week?

Awareness:  Notice how often others talk about guilt.  Can you determine if it is ’world’ guilt or ‘God’ guilt?  Can you identify the selfishness in our feeling guilty?

Journal:  Write down 25 things that you feel guilty about.  (big and little alike).  After you have made your list, then put them into this table. 

Guilt
Worldly guilt	God Guilt
	Present guilt	Past guilt
1.	1.	1.
2.	2.	2.
…….

 Now begin to deal with your guilt list..... visualize the weight of its chain around your neck.  Feel your load lighten as you continue to prune away more toxic thoughts and memories.

Please share some of your 'aha' moments or observations on the blog or email me at smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com