Have You Got Grit?

"Over time, grit is what separates fruitful lives from aimlessness.” John Ortberg

It was some time ago that I first started noticing a new fascination with the term ‘grit’. The term itself is dated, but today it’s especially being bantered around in education circles.  New research  came out that shows that grit is the common characteristic of those that succeed in education, even more powerful an indicator than IQ, family support, or social status. I listened one day on NPR from a principal of a new school back east, being created solely with this notion of grit. She reported the focus was going to be on teaching the kids the value of grit; training them to do the hard stuff, show them how to slog through the mud,  work more,  try harder and ‘get er done’!  

I find it interesting that although this topic on grit is a ‘hot one’, and the idea of this important characteristic being a game changer for our kids, it doesn’t necessarily coincide with how parents raise their kids.  If you think about the old days of raising a child on the farm, you see that they were just naturally raised to do the hard stuff.  “Walter, go clean out the yucky chicken coop, shovel up the horse poop, rake out the barn, and get up early every day and get your chores done, before you go to school."  The philosophy was, “If it’s hard, if it’s not fun, if you’re not good at it….what’s your point?  That’s life.”    

But, today in our American culture it seems that we do more and more to protect our kids from grit…after all it sounds nasty…dirty…gritty… We don’t want our kids to do the hard stinky stuff; that’s for those ‘other kids’, mine will receive the best.  We don’t want them to struggle with the tasks that are difficult, homework over their heads, learning skills they simply are gifted in.  We want them to feel good about themselves, and if I give you a job and it’s too hard, won’t I be responsible for lowering your self-esteem?  If our child struggles with math, English or history; we soothe them by reminding them we’re not all born to be mathematicians, writers, or historians. But wait...Instead, shouldn’t we be telling them to buck up, and hunker down? 

Two of my sisters came for a visit this weekend.  And whenever we get together we not only eat, talk, giggle and walk, but we encourage, philosophize and motivate each other.  The weekend’s topic was focused on ‘grit’.   We all agreed that although our parents were wonderful and gave us a happy, safe and fun childhood; we didn’t learn much about developing grit from them.

We admitted that we each have our own struggles now when it comes to sticking to our goal when it requires taking care of the hard stuff, the boring stuff, the stuff we don’t like, we’re not good at, or just isn’t any fun.   When the motivation leaves us, and we’re left with the tedious tasks; we find ourselves whiney, pissey, or just plain pathetic.   Can you empathize with that?

I continued to reflect on this idea of grit once my sisters drove away. I’m a grown up now and although it feels better to be the victim and blame others for my inadequacies, I know that I am now responsible...Yep, I am responsible, and it’s my choice to change. 

So I’m tossing around some questions.  Can I get grit?  Is it something I can sow within myself?  Is it like a farmer planting a seed in the garden: shoveling the fertilizer on, laying down the water hose, pulling out some weeds,  and when spring rolls around, pulling it up by its root and proclaiming,"I grew grit!" Or has the season for growing grit passed me by?  Am I too old to get grit?  And if I am not too old, what do I need to do to get it?   And, what’s in it for me if I do?

How about you, have you got grit?