Controlling Our Thoughts:



"It's not what happens in our lives, but how we choose to react to it." anon

Detox step #1

Have you been thinking about your thinking? This week we will be taking step #1 and learn more about controlling our thoughts.

Let's begin with this YouTube clip of Dr. Caroline Leaf speaking about the thought process. It's a four minute overview of some of the things we'll be working on this summer. (Be patient as you load up the video.  If your computer is anything like mine, you'll want to go make a loaf of bread and then come back and it should be up and ready).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At_0w2Jdp0g&feature=related

While watching the video, did you catch this important statement Dr. Leaf made, "We can’t control the events or circumstances in our lives, but we can control our thoughts". So when we talk about control in our lives, we're not talking about controlling what happens in our lives (that's a 'God thing'). In other words, it is not what happens in our lives, but how we chose to react to it that will determine our level of happiness.

   Let’s represent that statement with two lines.

The first line represents ‘events or circumstances in our lives’

Line #1.  

        ‘Events that happen in our lives’

Miracle _________________________ Tragedy

These events span from a miracle to a tragedy, and lots of stuff in between.  So let's think about line #1 and come up with examples of events that might happen to us, and consider where we would put them on this continuum line.

Examples: It’s raining on the day I planned for our reunion picnic, a loved one is diagnosed with a disease, I am in the middle of a traffic jam, a unknown aunt dies and leaves me a bundle of money, a friend finds out she is now cancer free,  I didn’t get the job I applied for, my son’s girlfriend broke up with him, I received the employee of the month award, I won the lottery, my child is moving to another state, I had a flat tire.

Now let’s look at line #2

Line #2 

      ‘How we react to what happens to us’ 

Miracle _________________________ Tragedy

As you know, how we react to the events in our life can also span from everything from a miracle to a tragedy as well.

But, to have a clearer idea of how this is played out in our lives, let’s use the example of an event we came up with from above; having a flat tire.

Line #1: What happened to me: I had a flat tire. 

Line #2:  How I chose to react to it:  I immediately had a temper tantrum, hit the steering wheel, and said a few foul words about my ‘blankety blank’ car, then I called my husband in tears and drug him out of a meeting to come and change the tire. When he arrived he was mad and he made me feel stupid. We got into a fight after he murmured something about my being irresponsible.  (Toxic thoughts, toxic attitudes and toxic behaviors)

Or here's another way I might choose to react.

Line #2: How I chose to react to it: I pulled over to the side of the road and said a prayer.  “Thank you, Lord that I didn’t have this flat tire when I was on the freeway headed to Flagstaff driving 85 miles per hour, and thank you that no one was hurt.  It’s a reminder to me that I need to get my tires checked before I go out of town.  I will call AAA and have them come and change the tire.”  (I was home in less than an hour and had no toxic thoughts).

As you can see, it wasn’t the event itself (having a flat tire) that determined my happiness or unhappiness, but rather how I thought about it and reacted to it.  It’s that line #2 that gives us the power and the responsibility! 

We can choose to go through life as one of these two kinds of people:  We can play the ‘victim’, and we live our life setting on line #1.  Or we can embrace line #2, and take on the responsibility that goes with it.  This second line is the one we will be focusing on throughout our journey to detoxifying.  

"So, let me get this straight, If we actually have free will to choose, and the ability to control our thoughts and our actions, then is what you are saying is that my being happier is up to me?????"   Yes!  But first we must be aware and take responsibility for our own thoughts.  Let's all say this statement together, “it’s not what happens in my life, but how I choose to react to it”,

Homework for this week:

Read: Chapter 3 and Chapter 6 (detox step #1) from Who Switched off My Brain

Awareness: Notice how other people react to events that happen to them.  Do they take responsibility, or play the victim and the blame game?  How about you?

Write about at least three events that happened to you recently that caused you to blame others, be stressed, be angry, or be unhappy.  How might you have reacted differently with your new awareness?  I’d like you to use a least a page in your journey to reflect on your desire to take responsibility for your happiness and ultimately your own toxic thoughts, attitudes and actions.

Time once again to ante up in your pampering pot. Let's also continue our quiet time exercise each day, and when we find ourselves experiencing toxic thoughts this week, make sure and repeat our mantra.  “It’s not what happens in my life, but how I choose to react to it”.

We'd love to read about some of your experiences!  Either post your responses on the blog or email me at smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com