Take Responsibiltiy

 

  "If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it.

 If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim." Richard Bach 

 

I asked my students to do an activity in class this week.  I wrote the following few words on the board, and told them to fill in the blank.     I can't..................

Then, we went around the class and they each read their statements.
 
Here were some of their responses: I can't lose weight, I can't get to class on time, I can't seem to stop procrastinating, I can't quit smoking, I can't do math, I can't run a mile without stopping to rest, I can't cook, I can't set goals and stick with it, I can't remember to put gas in my car, I can't keep my room clean, I can't get an A in English, I can't get to bed early, I can't keep my mouth closed when my mom tells me what to do...........

How would you fill in the blank?

I then had the students go back around the classroom, and instead of saying "I can't", they had to replace their first sentence with 'I won't'.. Example: I won't lose weight, I won't get to class on time, I won't stop procrastinating, I won't keep my mouth shut when my mom tells me what to do.....

Afterwards, I asked my students to discuss how saying their sentence with the word 'won't' felt differently.  The students made comments like this:
"I felt stupid saying I won't,"
"I think it's more depressing to say you won't,"
"It feels like I really can't do it, when I say I won't,"
"It feels like I'm not really capable of it, I'd rather say can't."
"I didn't feel bad explaining my I can't...because saying I can't kind of let's me off the hook, like when I say I can't quit smoking, or I can't lose the weight... it feels more like it's not my fault." 
"Yeah, when you say I can't, it's like you think people will feel bad for you...but when you say I won't,  then it's all you dude!" That got us all laughing.
"When I say I can't it makes me feel like something else is the cause of it, but when I say 'I won't', it seems more like it's a decision I've made."
"Saying I can't makes me feel more like a victim.... I'm more responsible when I say I won't."  

I try and sum up their conversation, "So, it sounds like you believe that saying I can't is easier on us and we feel less responsible for our circumstances; it's not our fault.  But when we say 'I won't', it takes us out of the victim role and puts us in control...it becomes our decision.  It makes us realize we are responsible".

I ask the students if they agree with that statement. They nod their heads.

One student then breaks in...."So then, we need to stop saying we can't, because we can! We just have to realize that we made a decision  'not' to do it."

Bingo!

My students agreed to try to not say 'I can't' at all this week...but if they do, they will then have to rephrase it...this time inserting the word 'I won't' into the phrase. And then repeat this mantra; 'Remember...I am responsible'.

Walking back to my office after class,  I thought about sitting out on the patio at a friend's house earlier in the week, where she had placed an enormous bowl of kettle corn on the table.  I took one look at it and said, "Don't put that in front of me...I can't stay away from that stuff!"  Several more times while I was shoveling in the sugary kernels, I giggled and repeated ..."I just can't stop eating this popcorn."
 "No girlfriend, you won't stop eating it!  Remember...you are responsible!"

Care to go on a YouTube drive with Hans Schoff, as he discusses taking responsibility, despite the consequences.            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naL-WjS-OjA 

You're Worth it!




The greatest wealth is health.  ~Virgil 

 

 

With love and gift giving on our minds this month, I can't help but consider that perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our loved ones...is taking good care of our health.

 

No more obsession with dieting...no fast and easy weight loss, right! That's certainly not good for us, and it won't make us healthier either. So what are some small steps we can take? 

 

I found am article on 'Food network' this week titled "Healthy Eating: If We Know What to Do, Why Don't We Do It? The piece talked about how most of us know we should be making changes, we just need some help jump starting our journey. Here's a paragraph from the article....

 

"What kinds of changes can I make? The changes you make to your eating habits don’t have to be big, just consistent. Sometimes we get overwhelmed by so many options (where to eat, what to cook, what to avoid, etc.) that we end up making none. Take three minutes and write down every single way you could improve your eating habits, no matter how big or small. You could cook at home one more night per week. You could replace your regular lunch with a healthy salad twice a week. You could have one less drink per week. You could replace dessert one night per week with fresh fruit." 
.........

Several years ago I was determined to take some 'small steps' and start eating healthier.  But honestly, it can be confusing as to what actually is 'healthier foods'.  So I decided to do my own research.  I went through dozens and dozens of articles reading about the healthiest foods.  I wrote down the foods that continued to show up time after time.  I first came up with a top twenty healthy foods list, then increased it to about 70 items.... and came up with my own grocery store shopping list.  I take it with me to the market each week and try and purchase as many of these items as possible to keep in my cupboards and fridge each week. It's so much easier to eat healthy if you have the food right there. (if you want a copy of my shopping list, just email me..I'll be happy to pass it along). 

So how about you....will you take just three minutes and write down your list of things you can do to eat healthier and take better care of yourself.  Do if for yourself, and give your family a gift that is worth more than gold....you know, you're worth it!

Email me at Smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

 

An Obsession

"Passion is a positive obsession. 

Obsession is a negative passion." Paul Carvel

Since writing my article last week it seems I have been inundated with a mass media blitz frenzy on dieting.  Our nation is obsessed with fast and easy weight loss! It seems every time I look on the Internet, or watch the news; 'dieting' is the theme.  Gyms admit that they do their best business riding the tail of our new year's resolutions. There's hundreds and hundreds of books out there giving us new and improved magical formulas to drop the pounds.  Prescription drugs and even surgeries are touted as fast tracks to better health. TV channels are filled with hope; We ask ourselves if these quick weight loss programs can do it for Valarie Bertonella, Marie Osmond, Jennifer Hudson and Charles Barkley, why can't they do it for me?

Here's some recent new years' article titles:

"Magic Diet Soup - Lose Weight Fast"

"Super Food Green Drink- Lose Weight Fast"

 

"How to lose weight Fast and Easy - No exercise"

"How to Lose 70 pounds Fast."

"How to Have a Flat Belly in 5 days"

"How to Lose Weight Fast and Easy"

 

"Lose Weight Fast in 3 Easy Steps"

Ego -Vegan Gal Diet

Fad Diets,

Crash Diets,

Detox Diets

Diets

Diets

 Diets!

Do you know when I typed 'weight loss' into Google, I got over 52 million websites! I call that obsessive!  Oh yes... and have you looked into ear acupuncture for fast weight loss? Or, how about swallowing a Tapeworm? http://www.ehow.com/about_5369829_tapeworm-weight-loss.html
Careful though, cause this critter can grown into a 30 foot creature inside your intestines...but then again, think about all the calories this guy uses up!

We'll do everything from eating pond scum to swallowing tape worms in order find a diet that's fast and easy!   People....Let's all open our eyes, use our brains, and come clean about this obsession we have.  Let's promise to lose these four letter words from our vocabulary when it comes to weight loss: 'Fast', 'Easy', 'Diet'. Let's take a stand; stop skipping meals, stop starving our bodies, and stop punishing our  selves with a morning 'weigh-in'.  No more talking about our unattractive, unsightly bodies...and let's never use the word 'Diet' again!!!

2014 is the time to step up and make a life change....slowly; not fast.... with persistence; not ease.....making long-term lifestyle changes; not short term diet plans.

It's time to take this obsessive focus off of our imperfect body images and put the spotlight on being passionate about having healthy eating habits and regular exercise.  And let's begin it... starting now!

Email me @ smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

Perseverance

 "You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this

and want it badly enough I can have it.

It's called perseverance." Lee Iacocca

 

I teach an introductory Education class...it's for those students wanting to explore teaching as a possible career choice.  I also teach an education class that is the final capstone of our Education AA degree.  It's always fun to see how far my students have come a few years later.  This week a student emailed me for an appointment to plan out her final course.  Her name seemed familiar to me...but when I saw her face I just couldn't make a connection. I thought perhaps her name was familiar because I had had her in an online class. 

 "Mrs. Spencer," she said, after greeting each other. "Don't you remember me? I had you for Introduction to Education a few years ago." As I looked at this young woman, sporting a pixie hair cut and measuring under 5 feet tall,  I was impressed with her outgoing and cheerful personality; one I was surprised I didn't remember. I asked, "Did you change your hair, Lorena....was it a lot longer when I had you in the Intro class?"  She said yes...and that she had also gotten it frosted. "Do you like it?" she asked, and began again.  "Maybe you don't remember me because back then my self-esteem was in the toilet. I stayed quiet, hid in the corner and tried to be invisible." She then giggled... "Oh yes, and maybe you don't recognize me because I've also lost 70 pounds."
 
She really looked wonderful, hard to imagine her as a once obese lady.  I asked her how she had done it.  This was her reply.  "I just got tired of being fat and miserable, so I decided to start getting some exercise and eating healthy!"  She said she had tried all the crazy fad diets before, and most of the weight loss programs we see on TV, losing a dozen pounds in a short amount of time. But those pounds always came back and brought a few more of their friends with them."  Lorena continued, "When I finally started changing my daily eating habits for real, that's when the pounds slipped away and stayed away. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, lean meats and whole grains now.  No magic really.  Just sticking with it."  Lorena told me she started out exercising with a very short, slow walk around the block. She said she was too embarrassed to ask anyone to go with her because she moved so slow and was totally out of breath.  Now, she's jogging along the canal.  "The weight came off slowly," Lorena explained; three or four pounds a month.  Sometimes it was really hard, but I persevered. And now it's two years later and I'm 70 pounds lighter."  I hugged my student and told her how proud I was of her.

We all know it, don't we..as much as we continue to look for it; there is no magic to losing weight and being fit. We know the secret isn't the latest diet fad, or calorie formulas, quick fixes, or a pill...it's a lifestyle change. Slowly... step by step; eating healthy, getting regular exercise and persevering; that's the answer.

And that leads me to my 2014 goal from one of my RESEARCH categories-  

H- Heath - Goal: Intentionally plan, practice and persevere in making healthy choices in order to enhance my life experiences and inspire others to do the same.

 

How about you...is changing your body image,  one of your resolutions for the year?  Are you looking to lose some weight, gain some, or become more fit?  Let's do it together...  let's do it like Lorena.....small steps, a few pounds at a time, making healthier choices to enhance our life experiences.

You can email me at: smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com