Making Progress, or Beyond Hope?

  "Change is not always growth,
 just as movement is not always progress.” anon

I couldn't resist taking this photo, right outside of a tiny little town, which isn't even a speck on the map; Hope, AZ.  It reminded me of some of the responses I have received from those of you who are struggling with this notion of passion; what yours is...what it really even means....and yes...even feeling beyond hope in making progress toward living your ideal life.  Perhaps today's blog will help.

 

Last week we talked about the importance of action.  We can dream the dream, and fantasize about our ideal life, but until we step up, move, take action, and make progress, we stay where we’ve always been.  That’s why creating markers to show us clues that we are moving towards our passion and making progress are so important. 

Do you remember the formula I shared with you, created by Bill Levacy, for creating the life you choose to live?

Intention ----- Attention ----- No Tension----

Let’s just review:  ‘Intention’ is our passion/s, ‘Attention’ are the decisions and the actions we take in order to make progress towards our ideal life.  And finally, and the one we’ll be talking about today is ‘No Stress”.

When we begin making those decisions toward are passions, and take those opportunities that will be laid out in front of us, we need to do it from the position of ‘No Stress’.  Because when we are acting from that state…no tension/no stress….then that produces powerful results.  As our life becomes more aligned with our passion, then we should physically feel it!

We learn in the book The Passion Test a phenomenon expressed about nature’s guidance system.  It’s an internal monitor that our authors tell us, if we pay attention to it, will indicate how we’re doing in the passion journey. It measures two things: ‘expansion’ and ‘contraction’.  As we make decisions towards our passions we will start to feel energized.  As we take action we may feel elation, joy, connection, satisfaction, motivation, …..that’s the expansion. You can actually physically feel your body and mind opening up.  Notice the posture and voice of a person that has a life that’s on-fire.  Notice yourself when you talk about your passion, how your heart beats in excited anticipation, you sit up taller, walk faster,  your voice and gestures become more animated and you even breath deeper .  That’s exciting evidence that we are making progress, and are moving towards our target....our passion/s.

But sometimes it seems the decisions are difficult, the actions steps seem so hard, and the harder we work to make things happen, the more exasperated we become.  We take one step forward and three back.  Although we're busy and moving, we don't seem to be making progress. Barriers continue to pop up in our lives, we get sidelined on the journey and we become anxious, angry, irritable, tired, depressed and tense.  That’s ‘contraction’ and we can physically feel this as well.  Our shoulders begin to droop, our smile has turned down, our backs become more bent over; we take slower steps, our body feels tired and our voice becomes more monotone. That’s a message to us that it's time to take a break, step back, relax, and re-evaluate.  

A number of years ago I was given the opportunity, at the college where I teach, to become an administrator.  When I first heard I was being considered for the position, I was so honored.  Here was this ‘stay at home mom, turned college teacher', being told she had administrative potential.  It not only meant elevated status and respect, but a huge pay hike in my check …..And it was coming at a time when we were financing our kids’ college!  So, I applied for the position and got it!

It wasn’t long before I felt the stress beginning to take over my body in a way I had never before experienced.  I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold-sweat, with a racing heart, and panic flowing through my veins. I was short with my kids, and down-right bitchy to my husband. What an example of contraction! After a few months of working in the job, I started breaking out in hives and was in and out of Dr.'s offices trying to find  some relief.  Finally, I found a combination of perscribed pills that would get rid of the itching and the hives, but I was soon popping them in my mouth at increasingly shorter intervals.  People around me saw it as a joke, and just ‘a day in the life’ in this position.  They would then relay to me their own ‘stressed out’ stories and encourage me to hang in there.  I wondered, Was this progress? 

I didn’t know then, what I know now….. if we are aligning our lives with our passions…. We should feel expansion....not contraction!  We should be filled with energy, enthusiasm, excitement, not in need of drugs to keep us going!  It was a great life lesson in understanding this quote: Change is not always growth, just as movement is not always progress.”

I stayed in the position two long years before I resigned….I was fortunate enough to get my old job back …a job where I feel I am making a difference, a place where I have an awesome oppportunity to motivate others to take responsibility for their lives…. And, does it surprise you that this is one of my passions today?  My hives disappeared within two months of leaving that old job, no more panic attacks, no more stress…smaller paychecks, but ohhhhh so much happier and definitely making progress!

Here's a person who's living a life on fire, Tony Robbins, reminding us to know and to be ourselves, and to keep making progress: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2uqfOltqqk

 

Email me, Karen, at: smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

 

Just Wishin' Don't Make It So

'Just Wishin don't necessarily make it so' Anon

 

This old adage about wishin came up this week when I was listening to an NPR reporter discuss the optimism our young people still have about  finding their dream jobs.  Although something like 85% of them felt they would one day have the opportunity to work in their dream jobs...only about 5% of had put in place, any kind of plan to make that happen in their lives.  Do you know anyone like that?

As a beginning activity for my public speaking classes, I have my students give a short speech on a success that they have had in their lives.  With a number of athletes in my classes this semester, many of them talked about the successes they had in sports and how important the dream of playing at the professional level was for them.  This is their passion! Most of them ended up at our community college, because of past academic challenges or sports injuries.... The coaches here are giving them another chance to make it to the next level of college play.  I noticed that since their speeches, several of these students who spoke about their desire to make it to the pro level, have since come up absent for a few classes. Hmmmm  'Just wishin they'll become a pro don't necessarily make it so!" 

As much as I believe that our thoughts create our reality, I also know it takes action as well.  We learned last week that if we want to have a life on fire, then we need to put our attention on those passions that will create that kind of life.  Remember the mantra we were going to memorize,
'When you are faced with a choice, a decision, or an opportunity, choose in favor of your passions.' Well I think we need to add a few words to that....  'When you are faced with a choice, a decison, or an opportunity, choose and act in favor of your passions.'

Here's what the football coach said about his team in last Sunday's paper, "We come out the first two drives, look good then all of a sudden everything goes to hell! Mistakes. Running into the punter. Holding. Off sides. Whatever. It's crazy. I know they're young, but we're four games into it. They've got to grow up. The problem is they don't focus!" Awe....focus....sounds like a problem with 'attention' and 'action' to me. I wonder if I should go and give the AWC football team a motivational talk?

In the book The Passion Test our authors give us the assignment of taking each of the 5 passion statements and  then writing a full page on what we would visualize our day looking like if we were living those passions.  After we do that, then we are to create markers to use as milestones, or guideposts.  These can help us see where we are on the road to living our passions.  Of course we'll need to regularly look at our passions and readjust them for circumstances in our lives...but it motivates us to take action and gives us an opportunity to see and celebrate our successes along the way.

Here's an example that was used in The Passion Test:
Passion: I am a world-renowned concert pianist

Markers
1. I have performed for heads of state all over the world
2. I have performed with the New York Philharmonic orchestra
3. I have my own television specials.....
etc...

Or in my students' case

Passion: I am playing football at the NFL level
Markers
1. I have passed my public speaking class at the community college (ha!)
2. I have played successfully at a two year college
3. I have been picked up and received a scholarship from D1 University

Yep, there is work involved, action that must be taken in order to create the kind of life that we desire..... Cuz, just wishin don't necessarily make it so. 

Listen to this TED Talk from a beautiful young generation graduate, Eunice Hii.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgbzbdxTm4E

I'd love to hear from you.  Email me, Karen at: smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

Are You Paying Attention?

                              'What you put your attention on grows stronger in your life'
                                                             The Passion Test

We have been talking about what our lives would look like if they were on fire.  I've been using the book The Passion Test to focus on how to determine what our passions are, and how our life might be different if we followed those passions. We were to create five note cards, each listing our five passions in their order of importance and then, down on the bottom of each note card, we were to write: ‘This or something better’.  Then we spread these note cards around our home, car and office so we can frequently be reminded of our focus, and what our ‘intention’ is for our lives.

Here is a simple formula created by Bill Levacy for creating the life you choose to live.  
                   Intention ----- Attention ----- No Tension 

Using Mr. Levacy's formula we can see that we have the ‘what’...the 'intention' (that's our five passion statements).  So now it’s time to think about the ‘how’: the ‘attention’.  Now honestly this is the part that makes me want to get out my 5 passion statements and begin writing goals for how I want to achieve each one…but the authors of our book say 'no'….they say goals are about outcomes…passions are about process.  And this is supposed to be all about ‘process’.

Do you remember the book The Secret?  How the mystery was unwrapped throughout its pages to show the reader what happy, successful people have learned about living a passionate life? The 'secret' unveiled, goes by another name; it is called 'The Law of Attraction':  You draw into life what you give attention to.  If you put your attention on what brings you joy, happiness, and fulfillment, you get more joy, happiness, and fulfillment.  When you put your attention on what’s wrong with things in the world, you see more things in your world to be dissatisfied with. 

Neuroscientists, Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman, describe the process like this. "The more you give attention to a particular belief, the stronger those neural connections in your brain become.  When you focus on the positive aspects of your life, those neural pathways become strong, and that becomes increasingly true for you."  Chris and Janet Attwood say it like this:  "If your attention is on all the things you don't have, all the problems in your life, all the bad things that are happening to you, then you are creating more of that. If you want more problems, more challenges, more unhappiness, then give attention to those things." 

By the way...this law of attraction thing is working in our lives whether we want it to or not or whether we believe it or not!

So let's all say this out loud together: "What I put my attention on, grows stronger in my life".

If we truly want to change our lives; we have to put our attention on the things that we want to see manifested in our lives.   We begin the process by purposefully making decisions that are aligned with our passions. So when a decision comes up in our lives we need to ask ourselves if this will lead me closer to my passions, or will it lead me further away.  And if it will lead me further away then I need to learn to say 'No, thanks, but I appreciate that you asked me.'  

I'm going to put this next sentence of the Attwoods to memory...how about you? “Whenever faced with a choice, a decision, or an opportunity, choose in favor of your passions…."  
 

They also want us to remember these two principles: aligning our life with our passions is a process, so we need to keep moving towards those passions.  And secondly, when we begin choosing in favor of our passions, our life will begin to transform in ways we can't predict.  So be open ...remember God may have something better in mind.

….How about we try the 'law of attraction' for ourselves. Let’s purposefully put attention on our intentions, and make decisions in favor of our passions, and then let's see what we have drawn to us. 

Here's Rich Cavaness' perspective of the 'Law of Attraction' in the Bible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBdAo5otRRM

Email me at: smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

 

 

This, or Something Better!

"Ask and it shall be given to you..." Mathew 7:7

 

Janet and Chris Atwood, authors of The Passion Test tell us that they find the biggest challenge for most people is getting out of their own way… “They start to write down a passion, but if they can’t immediately see how they can practically make it happen, they erase it (especially the big ones!) and put something down that they can easily put their arms around.  In other words, they play it ‘safe.’ …Often we get bogged down in the “hows”; how will I find the money?  How will I find the time?  How will I learn this or that skill?   But it’s not the ‘how' that is important for us; it’s the what.”

I’m hoping that by now you have your cards spread around (in your journal, car, office, etc.)  with your five passions written in the order of their importance.  I’m also wagering  that you have gone back and reworded some of your phrases, moving up the bar of your expectations, and cranking up the volume of this ideal life of yours.  Now it’s time to gather up our index cards with your five passions, and on the bottom of each card write this phrase….”This, or something better.”

As so often happens when we put our attention towards something, we find that syncronicity happens around us.... very recently, our Pastor began his sermon with this question: “Do you think that God has given you everything he wants to?" There was a long pause as the congregation pondered it. “If not,” he went on slowly, “perhaps, it’s because you haven’t asked.”   He continued with Jesus' words in Matthew: 7:7 ‘Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you’.

The sermon seemed eerily timely for me…. timely because I had been struggling with going to God in prayer about this 'ideal life'. How about you?  Do you find it hard to approach Him with a request that seems almost greedy…selfish…undeserved? Have you asked God for your passion statements to come true?  If not…why not?  Are we afraid he won’t answer?

Our Pastor reminded us of Jesus' following words: 'for; everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened.’  "And I believe," the pastor continued,  "that God answers our requests in one of four ways:

He says:
1.  Yes 
2.  Yes, but not now.. later
3.  No, It's not the best thing for you.
4.  No, but I’ll give you something better. 

Have you had trouble visualizing clearly what your dream would look like if your life was on fire, if you were living your life with a clear purpose, and with passion?   We must not let the ‘how’ get in the way and block our view.  We need to believe that God will answer our prayers.  Take heed and watch for doors to open, other opportunities to come around and most importantly for God’s ideas to take root. Yes.... for even something better. 

The verses in Matthew continue as Jesus says, "What man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone?....If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” 

After listening to the Pastor’s sermon, I found myself thinking about getting to the gates of heaven and having God show me all the doors that would have been open to me, had I just turned the knob and walked in, all the things He wanted to give me….if only I would have asked.

“Close your eyes for a minute”, write the authors of The Passion Test,  "Imagine what life is like for you when you are completely living this passion.  What does it feel like?  How do your days change when you’re living this passion fully?  Are there any changes in the ways you interact with others?  What impact does this passion have on your life? and  …will your life look exactly as you picture it now?  Of course not!  It will be something better!”

Here's an interesting idea about how to find your passion:  Listen to Sean Aiken's on Ted Talks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcMyX5R4dzs
and here's his website to learn more about his idea: http://www.oneweekjob.com/
 

Email me at: Smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com

 

You Can Do This!

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Last week, for those of you who wanted to join in, our assignment was to write down our greatest passions, and word them as if we were already doing/having or being it. When you started writing about what your ideal life would look like, did you question your ability to see it through? Did you hear an inner voice that was not your friend…that little devil that sits on our shoulder and gnaws at our dreams; that creepy fiend that tries to sabotage our ideal life? He will lure us into false believes….. we’re not good enough, fit enough, smart enough, young enough, old enough, or beautiful enough……

I received a phone call from one of my daughters last week. It began something like this, “What was I thinking? Who do I think I am? I must have been crazy when I thought I could compete in a triathlon! What if I drown, what if I fall off my bike, what if I make a fool of myself? I must have been out of my mind to believe I was capable of doing this!”

The upcoming Olympic triathlon was to be my daughter’s first …. Standing 5’ 5’’ tall and weighing in at just east of 100 pounds, Heidi is a wisp of a thing … not someone that strikes you as being a powerhouse athlete. I smiled as I heard her voice on the line, “Mom, why couldn’t I have just been satisfied with running! I have a one year old baby at home, for goodness sakes, and a two year old child! What made me think I had any business signing up for something like this?”

Are you hearing similar doubts as you wonder about your dreams coming true? How dare I ask for more, dream for better, say I’m not satisfied with the life and the blessings that God has already given me? Do you question your intentions…? I’m being selfish, ungrateful, spoiled to want all this… shouldn’t I just be happy with what I already have, what I already do, who I already am? Shouldn’t that be enough?

My daughter's uncertain voice continued…“Do you know what swimming a mile in open water is like? It’s one thing to do 100 laps at the YMCA, it’s another thing to stand on the edge of the open water and barely be able to even see the mile marker in the far off distance. Mom, people can be ruthless in these competitions, what if I get knocked in the teeth, kicked in the mouth, pulled under? There’s no place to swim to and hang on to…what if the rescue boat doesn’t see me going down?

How about you...As you wrote your passions, did you quickly erase them and rewrite something more cautious?  Did you tone back your expectations a bit because if felt safer? It’s one thing to want a better life; it’s quite another thing to take a risk to get there, isn’t it?  The authors of The Passion Test shared this.  “Have you ever noticed people who play it safe aren’t at all as enthusiastic, energetic, full of passion, on fire, and excited about their lives as your friends who dance around on the edge and totally go for their dream?"

...Two days later I picked up the phone and immediately heard Heidi's
exhilaration. She told me how she had gotten off to a good start with her swimming...how she could hear her husband’s voice shouting from the crowd as she made the transition from each race. “You’re still in this…wake up!” He kept urging her on. “You can do this, Heidi!  Wake up…move, move, move….you’re still in this thing!”

Maybe this thing for us is a life lived with passion. It doesn’t matter how old we are, what our current health is, how many times we’ve tried and failed, or what our past looks like. …We’re still in this thing...we can do this!”

My daughter glanced down at her watch in the final transition from biking to running. She saw that she would need to finish the next 6.3 miles, running her personal best in order to finish under three hours. She said, “That’s my personal best without first swimming a mile, and then biking for another 25! It just didn’t seem possible!”

Do your dreams seem impossible too? Is your ideal life only a fantasy? Do you think you have set the bar too high because you’ve never been able to reach it before?

The phone was almost dripping adrenaline by now as Heidi's excitement rose …. “I was only a minute from being out of 3^rdplace, Mom, I actually belonged in this race...And I made it to the finish line in less than three hours!” "That’s awesome!" I cried. "What a great accomplishment! What was your inspiration? What got you through it?" She was quick with her reply, "My inspiration is from the Bible; Philippians 4:13: 'I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.'

Lest we believe that living a life on fire, one full of passion, hope and promise cannot be achieved….. Oh doubting Thomas’ that we are…have we not at least the faith the size of a mustard seed? Does God not promise that He is on our side, that He is our strength, that He will see us through? Whether it’s a triathlon, a marathon, that career we’ve always wanted, the relationship that we’ve longed for, or that mountain we dare to climb; keep heading towards it…. we're not alone......Move, move, move; we’re still in this thing!  We can do this!”

Now listen to this inspiring story (as I watch the video and see the dad carrying his son …. It portrays such a powerful picture to me of how God also carries us). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64A_AJjj8M4


Email me at: smallsteps4bigresults@yahoo.com