More on Grit

"Don't complain, just work harder" Randy Pausch

After receiving lots of support and encouragement from my good friends, I was reminded that I did indeed already have grit, and that means I don’t have to grow it after all!  Whew that’s a relief!  I suspect the same is true for all of us…any time we think about our successes, overcoming adversity and crossing the goal line; we can look back and see that it did require grit!

 So then, I guess the question takes a new turn…  if we possess grit already, then why don’t we automatically pull it out of our holster when we’re facing a new challenge? Or, is it like a balloon that when we don’t blow air into it, lays stagnate, unimpressive, and deflated? 

 A friend of mine sent me an interesting article written about the continuing research being done by Angela Lee Duckworth on this topic of kids and grit. (see attached article below)

One paragraph reads, “How do you increase grit and self-control, not just in children but also in teachers and people in general, beyond just exhorting them to grin and bear it? Angela cites a current "big study" in and around Philadelphia in which randomly assigned students are asked to change their house or their bedroom in some way that would make studying easier. It could be as simple as having a better light in the room or putting their cell phones on a faraway shelf. .."Even young children know these tricks," Angela says, "but adults sometimes forget them."

 Ohhhh…so we sometimes forget about our grit.  Perhaps it’s more like something we pack away in our hope chests and lose track of.  If that’s the case then, it’s simple….we just need to dig it out, blow it off, and  use it to help us trudge through the sludge; tolerate the boredom; and ignore the distractions; Like when we’re trying to loose weight, get fit, starting a new business, searching for a new career, or trying to save money. 

 In my last week’s blog; I shared that my sisters came for a visit.  When we were in the midst of one of our therapeutic talk sessions on the topic of grit, one of my sisters jumped out of her chair, grabbed her hair and told us she was having a true moment of understanding. She explained that she had been focused on looking far out towards her goal, trying to find her purpose in her life as if it were a pot at the end of a rainbow…but instead of trying to grab onto that ephemeral prize, she needed to be focusing on the tasks of today. What can I do today? “That’s why I’m always feeling frustrated,” she admitted, “ And why it seems like it’s too hard to get to my goal.  Instead, I need to be thinking about what I need to be doing today….not worry about the result….just do the work today.  Do my due diligence.”

 In the article I spoke of earlier it gave an example of how they are teaching diligence. “ Students are positioned in front of a split computer screen. On the left side is some academic lesson: repetitive arithmetic, spatial orientation, anything boring. On the right are "distractors": games, music videos, great moments in sports. They're told that schoolwork isn't always fun but that working on the left screen will be like doing academic calisthenics to become stronger students.

They can take a break and go over to the right screen anytime they want; they can go back and forth. Whatever they decide is fine. The research assumption is that time spent on the boring screen will correlate to degree of success down the road—suggesting that, no matter the field or endeavor, no matter how smart and talented people may be, it will be tolerance for boredom that more reliably will see them through.”

Is there anyone else out there having an ‘aha’ moment?  So instead of trying to figure out our passion and what we should be doing in our lives to become happy, rich, famous and free…we need to get our heads out of the clouds, break down those big dreams and get started on today’s ‘to-do’ list.  Just because it’s not fun, sexy, captivating, titillating or an endorphin rush; it doesn’t mean it won’t get us to our goal. In fact….it is exactly what will get us there! Kind of sounds like we should be taking small steps, doesn’t it?

 If I’ve piqued your interest on this topic of Grit ,I suggest you read the attached National Geographic article written by Marguerite Del Giudice; or tune into the TED Talk and listen to Angela Lee Duckworth share about her research on grit.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/10/141015-angela-duckworth-success-grit-psychology-self-control-science-nginnovators/ 

http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit

Have You Got Grit?

"Over time, grit is what separates fruitful lives from aimlessness.” John Ortberg

It was some time ago that I first started noticing a new fascination with the term ‘grit’. The term itself is dated, but today it’s especially being bantered around in education circles.  New research  came out that shows that grit is the common characteristic of those that succeed in education, even more powerful an indicator than IQ, family support, or social status. I listened one day on NPR from a principal of a new school back east, being created solely with this notion of grit. She reported the focus was going to be on teaching the kids the value of grit; training them to do the hard stuff, show them how to slog through the mud,  work more,  try harder and ‘get er done’!  

I find it interesting that although this topic on grit is a ‘hot one’, and the idea of this important characteristic being a game changer for our kids, it doesn’t necessarily coincide with how parents raise their kids.  If you think about the old days of raising a child on the farm, you see that they were just naturally raised to do the hard stuff.  “Walter, go clean out the yucky chicken coop, shovel up the horse poop, rake out the barn, and get up early every day and get your chores done, before you go to school."  The philosophy was, “If it’s hard, if it’s not fun, if you’re not good at it….what’s your point?  That’s life.”    

But, today in our American culture it seems that we do more and more to protect our kids from grit…after all it sounds nasty…dirty…gritty… We don’t want our kids to do the hard stinky stuff; that’s for those ‘other kids’, mine will receive the best.  We don’t want them to struggle with the tasks that are difficult, homework over their heads, learning skills they simply are gifted in.  We want them to feel good about themselves, and if I give you a job and it’s too hard, won’t I be responsible for lowering your self-esteem?  If our child struggles with math, English or history; we soothe them by reminding them we’re not all born to be mathematicians, writers, or historians. But wait...Instead, shouldn’t we be telling them to buck up, and hunker down? 

Two of my sisters came for a visit this weekend.  And whenever we get together we not only eat, talk, giggle and walk, but we encourage, philosophize and motivate each other.  The weekend’s topic was focused on ‘grit’.   We all agreed that although our parents were wonderful and gave us a happy, safe and fun childhood; we didn’t learn much about developing grit from them.

We admitted that we each have our own struggles now when it comes to sticking to our goal when it requires taking care of the hard stuff, the boring stuff, the stuff we don’t like, we’re not good at, or just isn’t any fun.   When the motivation leaves us, and we’re left with the tedious tasks; we find ourselves whiney, pissey, or just plain pathetic.   Can you empathize with that?

I continued to reflect on this idea of grit once my sisters drove away. I’m a grown up now and although it feels better to be the victim and blame others for my inadequacies, I know that I am now responsible...Yep, I am responsible, and it’s my choice to change. 

So I’m tossing around some questions.  Can I get grit?  Is it something I can sow within myself?  Is it like a farmer planting a seed in the garden: shoveling the fertilizer on, laying down the water hose, pulling out some weeds,  and when spring rolls around, pulling it up by its root and proclaiming,"I grew grit!" Or has the season for growing grit passed me by?  Am I too old to get grit?  And if I am not too old, what do I need to do to get it?   And, what’s in it for me if I do?

How about you, have you got grit?